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A Cold Day in Hell

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* * *
Perhaps this isn't healthy but I feel like a goddamned super hero.
* * *
Today was so amazing.
* * *
I move out August 4th.
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It's starting to make sense, this big master plan. I think I like it simple. Lean and efficient, without all these superfluous parts slowing me down. 
* * *
MYSPACE.COM/HELLIAINT

TOUCHDOWN IM GOING TO FUCK YOUR DAD

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I, Sam Matthew Robin, hereby vow to drink no more than three (3) beers a week for the next three (3) months. 
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Rookie of the Year!
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I feel fucking invincible right now. Like I can succeed at whatever I want. It feels good, man.
* * *
I keep having this feeling that something awful is going to happen. Which is too bad, because things are alright right now. I think I like rugby too much though. If I could play it everyday I would.
* * *
There is a balm in Gilead To make the wounded whole; There is a balm in Gilead To heal the sin-sick soul.
* * *
Today was the greatest forty minutes of my life. And it completely validated my decision to quit.
* * *
I hate my job. I love rugby. My job makes me unhappy. Rugby makes me happy. My job interferes with rugby. I'm quitting my job.
* * *
In our hearts and minds
Lie the thoughts and actions that set the nerves of men on edge
This malignant cancer, this beast
It does not slouch
But walks upright, with daring and a sneer
It does not wait to be born
Because it has been born
Aborted and birthed, abandoned in a dumpster
Miscarried. Stillborn.
But it lives
Invincible and unquenchable
It is the insanity of every apocalyptic prophet
Of ever covert military action and quiet genocide
This malignant cancer, this beast
Our Demiurge, imperfect and beautiful
It is grainy and amorphous
But it is growing, coalescing
Because the prophets were right
They have always been right
In their eldritch and indecipherable tongues lay the truth
They were the heralds of this beast
And they spoke Its message
This IS the end.

Wake the fuck up. This is not insanity. This is not a phase, or a skewed perspective. This is the truth in its rawest sense. The horrors about to be unleashed upon this world are unthinkable. But start thinking. Start imagining. Get a head start on your neighbor, so that when the skies are alight with nuclear flames and tracer rounds, you wont be staring in shock and covering your eyes in a corner. This isn't a joke. Wake the fuck up. These are the end times. These are the end times. This is the end.

* * *
120ish in Cash.
Fossil wrist watch
Assassin's Creed for Xbox 360, but I'm going to trade it for Call of Duty 4
A safety Straight Razor
A bunch of candy
The Crossing by Cormac McCarthy
300 on DVD
The Terror by Dan Simmons. Read it already.
10 Reasons Not to Join the Army
Billabong Sweater

I'm happy. I'm gonna need to get a lot more stuff for the straight razor though. Like a beard.

* * *
This week:
Tomorrow, class from 8-1230.
Come home, try and catch up on homework and sleep for 3 hours.
 Go to drum lesson at 4. Go to Stats from 5-7. Drive 30 minutes to Occidental College, play rugby until 10.
Come home, sleep.
Get up at 4 am.
Work until 1 am.
Catch up on homework and sleep.
Friday, work 8 to 5.
Come home, catch up on homework and sleep.
Saturday, rugby game at 9 am.
Then hopefully see BTBAM that night.
Sunday, work 5 am to 2.
Get home, finish my English rewrite and begin studying for finals.
Monday, go to class from 8-1230.
 Study for finals, rewrite my Poetry essay if it is needed.
Start work on my final Philosophy paper.
Tuesday, work 5 am to 10.
Rugby from 330 to 530.
Wednesday, day of finals. Pray to god.
Rugby at Occidental college from 8-10.
Thursday, work 5-2.
 Friday, probably 8-5.
Saturday, probably 8-5.
Sunday, probably 1230-830.
Wow. Well, at least I have a stable life at home.
* * *
I love rugby lots.
Showering off blood is way cool.
I get to hit guys.
* * *
My Class Schedule

Winter
Latin American History Online

Spring
Communications 150 8-920 MW
History of the Middle East 930-1050 MW
Jujitsu (yes, Jujitsu) 1125-1245 MW
Anthropology 101 Lab 220-520 W
Anthropology 101 Online
Music Appreciation Online

And then I go to real college.
And then the army.
Lif, man.

* * *
I talked to a recruiter today. Apparently, you have an obligation to the military for 8 years, no matter how long your tour is. So should I sign up for a 2 year tour, the stop loss program, or a major mobilization could call me back in for the next 6 years after my tour. I don't know if I'm ready for that kind of commitment, especially since I planned on finishing college after that. I still haven't ruled out going at the end of this year though. Potentially, it might be best for me to go after my 4 years is done, especially since a bachelor's degree will earn me a significant pay raise, and the chance for a commissioned officer's post. So yeah, I'm still going to apply to college no mater what I do. Because even if I enlisted right now, and set my ship-out date to basic for next summer, I'd still be able to withdraw. Its called the Delayed Entry Program, and even though technically you're a soldier, you can opt out. So that would give me most of the year to change my mind. And since I'll have applied for college, I'll have those two options on my plate. 

On top of all that, I have the extreme disapproval of my father. I feel that maybe hes becoming more acclimated to the idea, but he has an innate stubborn streak. We have different ideas about my future and the man I'm going to become, and I guess we have to find a middle ground. But still, at the core of all this, I realize that I have a problem. I'm dissatisfied. Maybe I've been afflicted by some kind of wanderlust. I don't know. Everything has just started feeling so mundane and routine.

Fuck.

* * *
I've been asleep for the last 24 hours. I told my mother that I was going to join the Army this month, and she reluctantly agreed. I told my father, and he said he would do everything in his power, even if it ended with his own death or imprisonment, to prevent me. I'm not really sure what to do anymore.
* * *
Ok, so we last left our heroes as they were about assault the Smith House, and get all their money back from Sandwich.
And yes, I changed the perspective. Whatevs.

The house loomed before them, dark and ominous. A single window was illuminated. Four dark figures fingered their weapons, electric chills running down their spines.

Mike strode forward, shotgun clutched to his barrel chest. He cocked back the slide, and placed another shell inside.

The four walked towards the house in a loose and uneasy formation, faces pinched in nervous spasms. The guns looked like play-things in their hands.

Matt and John swung towards the side gate without a word. Tip-toeing on the hard,wet concrete, dull snores could be heard in form the second story. The back of the house was completely glass, and the sleeping forms of Sandwich and his cohorts were visible. Clothes strewn across the floor, their mammoth forms draped along couches.

Matt glanced at his watch. Two o'clock. The front door opened with a boom, and John fired a round from his sawed-off rifle into the glass. Sandwich's great bulk rose, reaching from something near him. Matt's pistol was leveled at his head, but his finger stalled.

The bat struck him hard in the face, sending a thin spray of blood across the room. Matt went to one knee, and Sandwich raised his club once again. A shotgun roared, and the top half of Sandwich's head was sheared off, vomiting blood over Matt.

John pumped round after round into the two other men in the room.
"Mother fucker. Mother fucker."

At this point, Dave had gone upstairs. He swung his rifle across his view, glancing nervously. A door opened up behind him, and Mahesh emerged, pocket knife in hand. He plunged it into Dave's back as he turned.

Mahesh stepped back, staring at the knife submerged in Dave's flesh. Dave stared back, raising his rifle.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." Mahesh whimpered. "Don't do it."
A shotgun blared down stairs, and Dave squeezed the trigger. It passed through Mahesh's throat, and he fell, clutching it. Blood pulsed out and pooled around him. Dave shot three more times, and headed down stairs.

"There's a knife in your back man." Matt said, clutching a black gym bag. John poured gasoline out of a cannister, slathering the walls in the noxious liquid.
"Yeah, well, your face is bleeding."

They ran out of the burning house, covered in blood and victory. Four cars had pulled in front, and many men began to emerge.

"You fuckers screwed me. Theres coke missing!" Razorblade shouted, waving a chrome-plated pistol.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Mike yelled back.

"Ain't fucking coke in some of those packages, you dumb fuck. Its fucking flour!"

John fired his rifle, and struck Razorblade in the stomach. The night was illuminated by the flash of gunfire. Matt and Mike dove behind a car, as Dave rolled beneath a low wall. A bullet tore through the flesh of his upper leg. The roar and crackle of the fire filled their ears, and the heat was immense.

Unmoving, John filled the air with slugs. Three men fell before his onslaught, when simultaneous rounds exploded into his hand and chest. He cackled madly, coughing blood.

Someone appeared near their car, and Mike fired the gun, tearing off the upper part of his torso. The corpse dropped a pistol, and it went off with a bang.
"Fuck," Mike said. "In my fucking gut."

Dave limped towards them, firing indiscriminately behind him. The three of them shot them shot their way back to the car, and drove through a hail of bullets. An explosion roared as they turned the corner, sending up a fresh flare into the night.
 
Sirens blared in the distance, and Dave and Mike bled slowly in the backseat.

"We gotta go get Janet, man," Dave moaned, "we gotta get the fuck out of here."
"Fuck Janet, we need to get to Mexico," Matt yelled, slamming his hands on the wheel.
"Fuck you, get Janet."

Matt looked at the bag of money next to him, then to the gun on his lap, and let out a sigh. Mike laughed, holding a beach towel to his bleeding stomach.

"I know what you're thinking Matt, but you'd never make it alone." Mike said. He let out another laugh that slowly turned into a cough.

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